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OD 14.01.2018.

Je li to ljubav ili ...?

Je li to ljubav ili ...?
'Kroz naočale zaljubljenog i nakaza divno izgleda', rekao je jednom Alberto Moravia. A što se događa onda kada zaljubljenost prestane? Ostaje li ljubav, ili ljubavi nikada nije ni bilo?
Vjerovali ili ne, ljubav i zaljubljenost su dva različita emocionalna stanja. Potreba za ljubavlju u samom je središtu ljudskog postojanja, i dok će neki zaključiti kako zaljubljenost prethodi svakoj ljubavi, neki će se složiti s time da ljubav može postojati i bez zaljubljenosti. Jedno je sigurno – razlika između ljubavi i zaljubljenosti svakako postoji.

Iako su simptomi u početku isti, zaljubljenost nije isto što i ljubav. Ushićenost, sreća, iščekivanje, 'leptirići', a neki kažu i kondori u i oko nas… tako se opisuje početak ljubavi i zaljubljenosti, no zaljubljenost je emotivno stanje na početku veze, koje je intenzivno, ali samo privremeno zadovoljava našu potrebu za ljubavlju.

Ljubav se, za razliku od zaljubljenosti, razvija sporije i ima drugačije emocionalne pretpostavke. Ljubav je snažan osjećaj koji zadovoljava osnovne emocionalne potrebe. Ljubav pruža najintenzivniji osjećaj bliskosti.

U vezi koja prolazi kroz ispravan emocionalni razvoj, u trenutku kada prođe zaljubljenost ljubav se već razvila. Ako do razvoja prave ljubavi ne dođe nakon prestanka zaljubljenosti, može nam se učiniti kako je ljubav prestala, a u stvari je nije ni bilo.

Evo što su na tu temu rekli Erich Fromm, Denis de Rougemont i George Weinberg:

"Ljubav, tj. ostajanje u ljubavi, a ne zaljubljenost, svjestan je i odlučan čin volje, umijeće koje moramo savladati kao svako drugo umijeće, kao umijeće drvodjelstva ili glazbeno umijeće. I zahtijeva brigu, odgovornost, respekt i znanje."
njemačko-američki psiholog, humanistički filozof i teoretičar društva Erich Fromm

"Biti zaljubljen ne znači nužno i voljeti. Biti zaljubljen je određeno stanje; voljeti je čin. Stanje podnosimo, za čin se odlučujemo."
švicarski pisac i filozof Denis de Rougemont

"Bili ste zaljubljeni; znate kako je to. To je osjećaj ushita, ne samo osobom koju volite, nego svim ljudima, samim sobom, životom. Odjednom svugdje vidite ljepotu i uzbuđenje. Ne bojite se izraziti svoju ljubav strastveno, nježnim riječima i tišinom. Osjećate da ste jaki, velikodušni i u potpunosti živi."
američki psiholog George Weinberg


www.Net.hr/Seks i veze
07.05.2008.

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KOMENTARI

  • 13.06.2008. 15:08h

    Član geminiMerlin6 Ima i osoba koje kad se uplaše da bi se mogle zaljubiti, brzo se usmjere na drugoga ili prevare dotičnu osobu ili pobjegnu, zbog straha od zaljubljivanja. Kako je rekla jedna amer. glumica, od dva zla uvijek ću probati ono koje nisam probala. Zanimljivo što ljudi žele ljubav, ali je se boje. Valjda je to zbog loših iskustava ili straha od vezanosti.

  • 13.06.2008. 15:17h

    Član mismasMerlin2 treba malo hrabrosti za izložiti se, ali isplati se

  • 26.03.2019. 10:11h

    Član emilio-iiMerlin0

    He-rod & Hi-men.....

    ......tojest i koliko se je Kralj uplašio "Pukotine u egu" pa je pobio tolko nevine Djećice!?

    A onda je i umro u agoniji ali ga je i naslijedio "sinus-kosinus"?

    Tojest i koliko nam je potrebno "krstitelja" da nam priprave Put "u ovom Obilježju"?

    Takodjer bi i bilo glupo biti "pametan" u "samorefleksiji" i reči da "ono tamo su budale" osim ako nemamo i odgovarajučih "pokazatelja" da bi ispali "istiniti"?

    Odnosno = Zakon se ne odnosi na onoga koji ga donosi pa makar bio i "teror-ist"?!

  • 26.03.2019. 11:24h

    Član emilio-iiMerlin0

    Do - Dvoravanje........

    ........https://www.jutarnji.hr/vijesti/hrvatska/dubrovcani-u-nevjerici-gledaju-kako-na-korak-od-mora-nice-vila-otkriveno-tko-je-investitor-rijec-je-o-sinu-mocnog-poduzetnika/8608085/

    Ali bi i bilo pogrešno na ovakvim "temeljima" pojašnjavati kako se pod "univerzalno" gubi Univerzum!?

    Nego bi Ljudima trebalo pružiti Alternativu ili i' barem dati-uvid:*At first I thought she was making fun of me but later realised that when using intent,
    anything was possible. The healers in fact offered patients the opportunity to hold on to
    something in order to effect their recovery. In the words of the Nagual Juan Matus: “one must
    start with the principle that everything is energy, because otherwise we will always be stopped
    by the hardness of the physical world.”*

    **Many are those who have succumbed to the pressure of fame and fortune. It is easy for
    sorcerers to perform miracles and acquire devoted followers seeking their presence and their
    words, but one should know that those who combine their personal interests with matters of the
    spirit will be punished with terrible curses. To sum up, I warn as I myself was once warned: “If
    you feel that your ambition is greater than your love for others, you’d best abandon the sorcererhealer’s
    path, since any deviation from its purpose could bring about your own destruction.”
    The healers’ path must be pure from the beginning. It tolerates no hidden agenda and no
    diversion, because greed is like cancer that starts very small, but grows and grows, polluting
    the entire body.**

    ***

    During the meal, out of the blue and to everyone’s astonishment, king Tepozteco began
    smearing food on his clothes and ornaments. When asked why he was doing it, he replied that
    it was not he who had been invited to the banquet but his clothes and jewellery. The others
    were profoundly embarrassed.
    The lesson of this story is that we must look beyond appearances, unlike this baldy
    here,” Doña Silvia said, pointing at me, “who believes that only external appearances matter.
    Modern man has abandoned his good sense in favour of vanity. He has become a
    puppet of fashion and behaves like a clown, only without even the slightest sense of the
    ridiculous. It clearly shows how people continue to follow the propaganda blindly without ever
    questioning anything and are thus mercilessly manipulated by hidden forces.
    The price for emphasising any aspect of the ego is to remain locked up in the chosen
    detail. Lack of awareness makes the masses behave mechanically and follow stereotypes.
    Watching them, one doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.”**

    ***Every human being’s potential includes all the capacities of a warrior; it is just a matter of
    activating them. Everything begins with an initial act of will. If we then faithfully continue
    reviewing our actions, we successfully revive our link with the spirit.
    A warrior, then, is someone who has literally been reborn, or rather, someone who has
    recreated himself and has been conceived anew, only this time fully, passionately and free from
    the fetters of socialization.
    The complete history of our ancestors is stored in our basic components. Retrieving that
    history is an act of power through which we definitively disintegrate the illusion of ‘I’. That
    history is not composed of words or images, although it is entirely possible to realign with any
    of them in order to make the return journey.”***

    ****

    One day, when I was finally able to deploy enough energy, I remembered myself in my
    dream. I discovered that dreaming was the same as the ordinary dreams we all had, only this
    time it was controlled.
    Little by little, I gained confidence and began to explore the world of dreaming by myself.
    My night forays were mostly brief. I did not venture far beyond the familiar ground. As I entered
    dreaming, I typically stayed within visions which I’d had before, but in one dream, I began
    chasing a firefly which resembled a luminous dandelion. I don’t know how long the pursuit had
    been going on when I realized that I was lost in that other world. Because of doña Silvia’s
    repeated warnings, getting lost in dreaming was the greatest of my fears.
    The spot of light seemed to understand my problem, because it held back and hovered
    so close that I could see it in detail. Its brightness suddenly became more intense. It seemed to
    inflate, stretching and convulsing for a moment, until it expanded into the diffused image of a
    human being. I could not tell if what I saw was a boy or a girl. The being spoke to me without
    using its mouth. I felt its voice within me. I thought I had heard it say:
    “Why did you stop?”
    That was the first time that I had met an aware entity during my adventures on the other
    side. I was astonished. The feeling of surprise made my rational mind pick up the reins, and I
    started waking up in my bed. I immediately used doña Silvia’s techniques of returning to a
    particular dreaming vision, and went back to sleep.
    When I managed to return to dreaming, the human image was gone, but I could still see
    the speck of light. The context, too, had changed, and we were now in one of the places of
    power the sorcerers used to take me to. In that place, I had more self-confidence. I made a
    conscious effort to project a thought to the luminous being, a thought that said, “I’m afraid of
    getting lost in this world.” The light responded in the same way:
    “Fear not, I’ll guide you.”
    That encounter was the start of a friendship. I became used to meeting up with Blor, my
    friend from dreaming. I called the being Blor because that was the feeling I had in its presence:
    “Bhloor!”
    In subsequent meetings, I learned that Blor was a female dreamer from another world
    who had ties to a group of healers. In fact I found out that it was doña Silvia who had asked Blor
    to help me move around in that other world, and it had worked!
    Apart from learning to move around in that world, I learned many other things from Blor.
    In one of our meetings, she taught me a manoeuvre of passing unnoticed in that environment.
    Blor called the technique ‘the invisibility cloak’, claiming it was essential for survival in that
    world.
    She showed me how to build a kind of ‘igloo’ made of energy, where I could hide very
    well. She made me turn my attention to certain properties some of Eagle’s emanations had and
    showed me how that special type of energy responded more readily to attempts to mould them.
    I did as I was shown and could see that the energy actually followed my command.
    Using the will, one heaps up energy as if building a haystack. To understand this, one
    must take into consideration that the texture of the world on the other side is very malleable,
    and that will can be used to move quantities of emanations from one spot to another, so that,
    having made a ‘heap of light fibres’ inside which it is possible to hide, one can actually remain
    unnoticed by the countless entities marauding through that place, many of whom are not really
    friendly.
    Another emergency technique Blor taught me was to curl up on myself like a foetus, but
    without lying down. That movement can be used if one needs to escape the many violent
    predators inhabiting these regions. They are known to the sorcerers as marauders.
    I am infinitely grateful to Blor for sharing the knowledge that is so useful over there in that
    other place.

    One of the greatest delights for sorcerers-dreamers is making contact with creatures from
    other worlds. Those beings usually come from the neighbouring world, but occasionally one
    may contact entities from more distant regions. It is known that the farther away they come from,
    the greater the risk that they might be hostile. I was able to corroborate that these explorers from
    distant worlds are indeed frightening. They are brightly coloured, and give the feeling of being
    under unbearable pressure, seemingly on the verge of exploding.
    Blor once took me to see her world. The beings that inhabit it are not at all like us. They
    are not even solid like we are but resemble a kind of jelly, and the world they live in has the
    same characteristics-- or at least that is how I perceived it. I saw that the concepts of male and
    female were valid in that world just like in ours. Beings there engaged without any inhibition in
    what we call ‘sexual acts’. It is natural for them to be connected all the time.
    Blor told me that in her world she felt isolated from her fellows, finding it hard to carry out
    her normal role within the society in which she lived. It struck me that Blor’s fate in her world
    was paralleled to that of Carlos Castaneda’s here on Earth. Her world is similar to ours insofar
    as, because of the predators[22], no one there believes in the possibility of dreaming. That is
    truly a great pity, as so few individuals of either of our species are aware of their immense
    possibilities and consequently, on both sides, ridicule those who speak of the subject.
    I have not seen Blor for years. The last time I saw her, she took her leave of me, and told
    me that she was about to set off on a very dangerous journey. She intended to cross a part of
    the dreaming world controlled by very fierce inorganic beings. I tried to dissuade her from that
    adventure, but she had confidence in her ability to hide and so set off on her journey. I’ve had
    no further news of her since. She may have achieved her objective, or she may have become
    prisoner of the marauders.****

    Dakle bi se i ono ili generalno rečeno "sjeti se onoga što si bio prije rođenja" svodilo na to da smo "rođeni-mrtvi"???

    Ili nas to-nešto za-života umrtvljuje do groba a tek zagrobno uviđamo da smo bili Živi??

    I zamislite si "To" još i Planetarno..... tojest i u potpunom odsustvu TAO-a?

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