Dr. ARUN GANDHI SNAGA NENASILJA
Dr. Arun Gandhi, unuk Mahatme Gandhija i osnivač M.K. Gandhi instituta za nenasilje, prilikom predavanja koje je održao na univerzitetu u Puerto Ricu, podelio je sledeću priču kao primer ‘nenasilja kod roditeljstva’.
“Imao sam 16 godina i živeo sam s roditeljima na Institutu koji je osnovao moj otac u Južnoj Africi; duboko u unutrašnjosti zemlje, oko 18 milja izvan Durbana, u središtu šećerne plantaže.
Nismo imali komšije, tako da smo se dve sestre i ja uvek radovali odlascima u grad i posetima prijateljima ili odlascima u biskop.
Jednoga dana otac me zamolio da ga odvezem u grad gde se održavala jednodnevna konferencija, na što sam s radošću poskočio. Budući da sam ionako odlazio u grad gde bih bio ceo dan, majka mi je dala listu namirnica koju je trebalo kupiti, a otac me zamolio da se pobrinem za neke tekuće poslove, kao na primer odvesti auto na redovan servis. Kada sam tog jutra odvezao oca, rekao mi je: ‘Nađimo se ovde u 17 sati, i ići ćemo kući zajedno.’
Nakon što sam na brzinu obavio sve zadatke otišao sam ravno u najbliži bioskop. Toliko sam bio zaokupljen dvostrukim filmskim programom u kojem je glavnu ulogu igrao John Wayne da sam zaboravio na vreme. Bilo je već 17,30 kada sam se setio pogledati na sat. Dok sam otišao u servis i preuzeo automobil te odjurio do mesta gde me otac čekao, bilo je već 18 sati.
Zabrinuto me je priupitao: “Gde si do sada?” Bilo me sram reći da sam gledao vestern Johna Waynea te sam odgovorio: “Automobil nije bio gotov, zato sam morao čekati.”
Nisam znao da je on već zvao servis. Kada me je uhvatio u laži rekao mi je: “Nešto nije bilo ispravno u mojem odgoju što ti nije dalo dovoljno samopouzdanja da mi kažeš istinu. Kako bih vidio o čemu se radi, tj. gdje sam pogrešio, umesto da me odvezeš, prepešačiću 18 milja (29 km) do kuće te putem razmišljati o tome.”
Obukao se, obuo cipele i počeo hodati u smeru kuće. Već se bilo smrklo, ceste su bile neosvetljene a put uglavnom nepopločan. Nisam ga mogao tako ostaviti pa sam pet sati i trideset minuta vozio iza njega promatrajući ga kako prolazi agoniju zbog glupe laži koju sam izrekao. Tada sam čvrsto odlučio da nikada više neću lagati.
Često se setim te zgode i pitam se da me kojim slučajem kaznio na način kako mi kažnjavamo svoju decu, bih li uopšte naučio svoju lekciju. Ne verujem da bih. Bio bih kažnjen i malo bih patio te bih ponovo napravio istu stvar.
No, ta lekcija o nenasilju bila je toliko snažna da je ostala sveža u mom sećanju kao da se dogodila juče. To je snaga nenasilja.
“Opraštanje je napuštanje mog prava da te mrzim zbog toga što si me povredio.”
Dr. Arun Gandhi
Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and founder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, in his June 9 lecture at the University of Puerto Rico, shared the following story as an example of nonviolence in parenting:
“I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no neighbors, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies. One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance.
Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town, my father asked me to take care of several pending chores, such as getting the car serviced. When I dropped my father off that morning, he said, ‘I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together.’
After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearest movie theater. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the time. It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00.
He anxiously asked me, ‘Why are you late?’ I was so ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne western movie that I said, ‘The car wasn’t ready, so I had to wait,’ not realizing that he had already called the garage.
When he caught me in the lie, he said: ‘There’s something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn’t give you the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I’m going to walk the walk home 18 miles and think about it.’
So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads. I couldn’t leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a stupid lie that I uttered. I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again.
I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all. I don’t think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But this single nonviolent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday. That is the power of nonviolence.
Copyright Dr. Arun Gandhi
More information from the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence may
be found here.
http://www.gandhiinstitute.net/home.html
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